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OK, I know I posted in my bio that my book was finished already. And I thought it was. Mostly. Kinda. Well, maybe I was always pretty sure the ending was as thin as wet toilet paper, but by golly, I could tell myself it was DONE.
In my rare moments of honest self-appraisal, I knew that ending needed serious work. So here I am, nearly six months later, finally pleased enough with my ending to show my manuscript to a few trusted friends. What I would really like now is to find a beta reader or critique group---a step I realize most writers take at an earlier juncture, but my courage has failed me numerous times. Now that I have a semi-finished product under my belt, I feel I'm mentally ready to be torn to shreds by a room full of my peers. I was scared to death that if I recieved too much criticism too early, it would completely shatter my already fragile ego and I would abandon my project altogether. I'm sure that will sound pretty lame to many of you, but think of how hard it is to devote yourself to the task of writing your first novel, all alone. You're already asking yourself every day if you've lost your damn mind---devoting every spare moment to either working on your novel, preparing to work on your novel, or thinking about working on your novel. It's hard enough to convince yourself on a daily basis that yes, someday, all this will be worth it. I couldn't risk being derailed by a well meaning, enthusiastic would-be editor. But I have to get ready now. Cause the dang thing ain't getting any younger, collecting dust on my hard-drive. Its time to see what its made of. Wish me luck.
And if anyone out there would be interested in beta-reading for me, send me an email. All comments and advice are greatly appreciated!
